I’ve had a hard time with the Photo-Heart Connection this month, and, in fact, almost let it pass me by. It’s not that I lack for photos to choose from. The problem is with the heart.
Fall has always been my favorite season of the year, even though I grew up in a place where fall was marked not by spectacular color, but merely a cooling and mellowing of the summer’s blistering heat. Leaves simply turned brown and fell off the trees, leaving behind bare branches against blue sky.
Seventeen years ago, I left the desert behind and moved east, where I finally experienced autumn in all its glory and loved it more than ever. Now I’m back, not exactly in the desert but close to it. I’m far away from a lot of people I love. And while I’m happy and grateful to be here in this beautiful place, close to other people I love, my heart is torn.
Fall for me is a nostalgic time of year anyway, and this year it feels especially poignant. I love my new home, and find joy in it every day. I’m also seriously homesick for Maine and the friends and family left behind. I feel tears welling up at unexpected moments. I feel a bit like that weathervane up there, turned in a different direction with each passing breeze.
I’m keeping busy (in a relaxed sort of way) and try to do something every day to settle in here a little deeper. Like a transplanted tree, it will take time to put out new roots and become established in this new soil. It will take a bit of protection from the strongest winds. But in the end, those winds will help to strengthen the trunk and roots and branches of that tree.
I try not to think too much about it all, but just let myself feel what comes. I know it will pass. Whichever way they blow, the winds always die down and calm returns.
So that’s my Photo-Heart Connection for this October. For me, fall is still what it was all along . . . a time both for looking back and for new beginnings. I wonder what November will bring?
Thanks to Kat Sloma for hosting this linkup each month. It’s a great chance to look over the images taken during the month and think more deeply about the one that speaks most to my heart.